And so, windows vista, your time has come. YOU ARE DEFEATED! And not just the normal kind of defeated, either. No, you are now subject to my poking and prodding. And I promise, it won't just be the ninja pokes. No, you'll get to play the same way bunnies and hippies have thus far. And you all know what I'd do to Hitler, were I to catch him. Imagine the virtual version of that. That's what I'm doing to windows vista right now. It's life is literally second after second of unbearable agony as I make it break itself. This is probably what it would feel like to make a rabbit eat its own young. Give them a taste of cannibalism. Imagine it like this: if I got hold of some really nice, high grade napalm and introduced it to the gluttonous bloated mass we know as windows vista, and then made that gluttonous bloated mass EAT said napalm. It's my favorite. Ever. More favorite than monty python and the holy grail. More favorite than the dark knight. It's more favorite than roasting a live hippie over a slow burning flame. Yes, even that. Yes, that. You know, THE ONE. THE ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL! Speaking of which, how is that little hobbit doing nowadays? Seems as if hobbitland has gone downhill since frodo brought back one less finger. Perhaps if we brought golum back into the picture to give back the finger, we would have a much happier hobbitland. And legolas. Ahhhhh Orlando Bloom, when will you be taken seriously? Probably when I'm done having Vista tear itself to shreds. And who knows when that'll be, since it's so much fun I may well have it start rebuilding itself AS it takes itself apart! It could be weeks, no years... no... DECADES, perhaps even CENTURIES until I'm done having fun with this corpse of an OS. Were it possible, I might install a SECOND COPY of windows vista onto this machine JUST to have it try and KILL the other copy while the other copy tries to KILL IT! And all the while wonderful ubuntu is sitting there laughing at them both, holding a chain gun in case either party gets too rough. And when did I do this, you dare ask? I did it on a sunday afternoon, while sipping sweet tea and eating cheeze its. Myes... oh, an update on teh pockys. I love pocky. Not as much as I love Kaji, mind you, but I do loves the pockeh. It's like crack, I tells ya! Also also, you know what would end poorly? My cats and a live hand grenade with fur wrapped around the outside, tossed a short distance forward without the pin. Know what would end well? If ffo super crashed and ate garral alive. That would be nice. I think I may just try and make that happen. I wonder if I could combine these two ideas. Lizards like furry little things to eat, right? Hmmmm... if I use my cats as bait... maybe I could attach the grenades to them... and the dumb lizard will accidentally get rid of three problems at once: what to do with my cats, what to do with the active grenades in my imagination, and taking out the trash. I likes it. OOOOOO! *smiles really, really wide, scary like* Vista haz an update! Lemme go mess with it and I'll get back to this.

*intermission*

*With a grin like the grin reaper's, he returns* LALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *presents a-one windows vista, SUPER DEGRADED!* I didn't make its update any different. Honest. I just let a certain linux program play with it. Amazingly, it still manages to run the OS, despite core damage and a SEVERE lack of critical BIOS. Did I mention the thing WANTS to die, and CAN'T? *evil laugh* Yes, I am crazy. Please check in at the front desk for details. In the meantime, may I introduce you to my pet computer, nicknamed Vincent for the time being, as it is both vampiric AND awesome. Don't worry, good ol' Vinny'll be ready to run around the internet in a few days, folks. For the moment he's being kept at a distance from the majority of the internet, being that I want to program a nice little extra bit of security in. No worries though, you all are safe... BUT WINDOWS ISN'T! BUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! No, but really, I'm VERY considering going to get a second copy of vista just to torture it. Well, peace, I wanna go play interrogator man s'more.