As the title says, there was an interesting experiment conducted this last week somewhere in the northern states when some small child found a monkey toy and a penguin toy, and tried to force them together. It was ugly. Six frenchmen died in the process, and the world was a happier, less cowardly place.

On a side note: I still have street fighter 2, for the SNES, and a working SNES system. If you want to challenge me (and you know who you are), you need only call me on my cellular mechanization. Another side note: I recently purchased a copy of the original sonic and knuckles in near mint condition for an incredibly cheap price. At the same time, I purchased the means to use a genesis given me for my birthday, last year. Now, I'm not saying I'm better than all of you other gamers out there... no, no I'm not. I'm just saying that you're not as good as I am. I am superior to you in every way. Hell, if a RABBIT owned it, it would be superior to you. I can PLAY sonic and knuckles. It's like... I have my childhood back. The one my brother stole from me. By selling off our old genesis and all its games, to include sonic and knuckles, for a play station, and telling me that all of the games were too violent for me to play. Now, if playing a game where THE GAME ITSELF is trying to kill you, and you're job in life is trying to kill a "doctor" isn't violent, well, I don't know what is. Seriously, if you play that game, you'll realize what I mean. There was this one level I remember where the ground DIDN'T EXIST, and you had to use knuckles to glide from wall to wall up an infinitely high level only to find that SUPER DOCTOR ROBOTNIC was halfway DOWN the level BELOW you, come UP AT YOU with like A BILLION missiles and fire and lightning and some kind of ox bile concoction. By the way, taurine is a derivative of ox bile. That's right all you energy drink drinkers, you're chugging down something that comes out of an ox's GUTS. Murderous scum, those ox's. Good job, keep up the good work!

Lastly: the pure series.

So, there are 4 named characters so far, and the likelyhood that any of you know any of them apart from Grey is quite low. I'll give you a clue, for reading this golly good journal before reading them. Grey isn't either of the two that have been posted. Another clue, because I'm such a nice guy: neither is Kulathael. So then, for reading this journal you get a 50-50 chance at not failing. And, with a tiny bit of work, you could even get a 75% chance.

Really lastly: Penguins do not make with monkeys unless sombies can reach 6 feet high. Which they can't. What does that tell you about penguins and monkeys?

Well folks, as the title says, this journal is a bit more serious than its previous counterparts. It has less rabbits, hippies, and fire than its predecessors. In fact, it is likely that the only place that you will find any of those things in the sentence before this one. If you were expecting a spiteful entry, I apologize to you, good reader--I will give you your spite and sarcasm another time.

I've had a serious longing for writing lately, and while I have done a goodly deal of it in the last month or so, it hasn't been up to my standards. More importantly, the fact that it hasn't been up to standards annoys me. Quite a bit, actually. So to fix this, soon, when I have enough sleep after going from nights to days again, I'm going to write a series of poems that WILL meet my standards. The plan is 7 poems, each of which is a "theme" of a character of mine in some way, and it'll be up to you, the reader, to guess which character the poem relates to. Don't worry, I won't make you go read through all the old stories, there'll be a list of the characters you're allowed to choose from. The first few will be easier than the last few, don't worry.

Lastly, I've actually already come up with a name for this little set... "Pure ..." With some feedback it's likely that I'll make a second series, but that really all depends on two things--my interest in telling the story, and your feedback as to how I could make the series better.

Remember, not all my poems are sonnets, and not all of them are nice.

And so, windows vista, your time has come. YOU ARE DEFEATED! And not just the normal kind of defeated, either. No, you are now subject to my poking and prodding. And I promise, it won't just be the ninja pokes. No, you'll get to play the same way bunnies and hippies have thus far. And you all know what I'd do to Hitler, were I to catch him. Imagine the virtual version of that. That's what I'm doing to windows vista right now. It's life is literally second after second of unbearable agony as I make it break itself. This is probably what it would feel like to make a rabbit eat its own young. Give them a taste of cannibalism. Imagine it like this: if I got hold of some really nice, high grade napalm and introduced it to the gluttonous bloated mass we know as windows vista, and then made that gluttonous bloated mass EAT said napalm. It's my favorite. Ever. More favorite than monty python and the holy grail. More favorite than the dark knight. It's more favorite than roasting a live hippie over a slow burning flame. Yes, even that. Yes, that. You know, THE ONE. THE ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL! Speaking of which, how is that little hobbit doing nowadays? Seems as if hobbitland has gone downhill since frodo brought back one less finger. Perhaps if we brought golum back into the picture to give back the finger, we would have a much happier hobbitland. And legolas. Ahhhhh Orlando Bloom, when will you be taken seriously? Probably when I'm done having Vista tear itself to shreds. And who knows when that'll be, since it's so much fun I may well have it start rebuilding itself AS it takes itself apart! It could be weeks, no years... no... DECADES, perhaps even CENTURIES until I'm done having fun with this corpse of an OS. Were it possible, I might install a SECOND COPY of windows vista onto this machine JUST to have it try and KILL the other copy while the other copy tries to KILL IT! And all the while wonderful ubuntu is sitting there laughing at them both, holding a chain gun in case either party gets too rough. And when did I do this, you dare ask? I did it on a sunday afternoon, while sipping sweet tea and eating cheeze its. Myes... oh, an update on teh pockys. I love pocky. Not as much as I love Kaji, mind you, but I do loves the pockeh. It's like crack, I tells ya! Also also, you know what would end poorly? My cats and a live hand grenade with fur wrapped around the outside, tossed a short distance forward without the pin. Know what would end well? If ffo super crashed and ate garral alive. That would be nice. I think I may just try and make that happen. I wonder if I could combine these two ideas. Lizards like furry little things to eat, right? Hmmmm... if I use my cats as bait... maybe I could attach the grenades to them... and the dumb lizard will accidentally get rid of three problems at once: what to do with my cats, what to do with the active grenades in my imagination, and taking out the trash. I likes it. OOOOOO! *smiles really, really wide, scary like* Vista haz an update! Lemme go mess with it and I'll get back to this.

*intermission*

*With a grin like the grin reaper's, he returns* LALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *presents a-one windows vista, SUPER DEGRADED!* I didn't make its update any different. Honest. I just let a certain linux program play with it. Amazingly, it still manages to run the OS, despite core damage and a SEVERE lack of critical BIOS. Did I mention the thing WANTS to die, and CAN'T? *evil laugh* Yes, I am crazy. Please check in at the front desk for details. In the meantime, may I introduce you to my pet computer, nicknamed Vincent for the time being, as it is both vampiric AND awesome. Don't worry, good ol' Vinny'll be ready to run around the internet in a few days, folks. For the moment he's being kept at a distance from the majority of the internet, being that I want to program a nice little extra bit of security in. No worries though, you all are safe... BUT WINDOWS ISN'T! BUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! No, but really, I'm VERY considering going to get a second copy of vista just to torture it. Well, peace, I wanna go play interrogator man s'more.

And it has windows vista on it. Now, as you know, my opinion of windows vista is much the same as a human being walking around with a 6" hole in his chest. We're just waiting for him to die. I believe that windows vista is the most vile thing that the microsoft corporation has ever come up with apart from windows ME, the operating system designed to fail. This is the next best thing--a top heavy pea brained mammoth waiting for fall under it's own weight, coupled with the fact that it's so slow to boot, (I LITERALLY cooked and at a thing of ramen before my computer booted), and how very sluggish the overall system is, I believe that my best option is to hold a very powerful magnet to this computer until it stops. Forever. To put the computer out of its misery, so to speak. In simpler terms, if you take a human being and hold him under water until he stops moving, it's essentially the same thing as holding a magnet to a computer. A good magnet is like the man trying to scream while you hold him under water. Why would I do this? Because I despise vista that much. I really do. I REALLY do. I despised it when I first started looking at the mere SIZE of the system and then the code, but now that I've had time to really play with it a bit, I REALLY do hate it. More than before. So very much more than before. I hate it so much that I'm not going to kill it. Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to send vista to computerized HELL. A form of torment so prolonged that it NEVER ends. I'm going to rip the hard drive out of this computer, put my other computer's hard drives in it, and let linux run wild booting the thing inside of linux and then playing with its code. I'm going to open up its code and screw around with it until the poor little brainless OS thinks it's windows 95. But real quick, going back to my comparison of computers to living things. I suppose I'd have to put Mac and Windows in one half of the spectrum--evolution. Mac was the cell that evolved into something pleasant to look at and can survive decently enough on its own. Windows is proof that horror movies have a point, and that ugly people didn't evolve from the same cesspool as the rest of the scum. And linux? Well linux is proof of creation. True, honest to God, creation. Now, why is that? Because linux runs smoother? No. Because linux actually does what you tell it to? No. Because you can create your own code in linux and not have to deal with the mindless bullshit that microsoft and apple produce? YES. Dear GOD yes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm not CRAZY! Not CRAZY at ALL! MUAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's right, windows users, your computer is a horrible monstrosity abomination of nature! HAHA! I could take a shit and put it in a box, wrap it up and hand it to you, and it'd still have a better operating system than your computer! HAHA! Oh, if only windows could have figured out what they did right for that brief moment with windows 98, THEN they could have NOT failed in every system since! Ahhhh, and to think, the only actually STABLE systems since then are now both outdated--windows 2000, and windows XP, and it took XP YEARS to be stable! It was like a symphony of SILENCE! And now, the loud note: Windows Vista, the worst operating system I've EVER SEEN! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Sidenotes: POCKY. POCKY! POCKY IS GOOD! Vista is still the demonic OS.

Your lucky numbers are: 6, 12, the letter Q, and a peanut.

Alright, so here's the deal. This time around I've found my way through some military training, and I've come to realize something. Nothing will ever meet my expectations of difficulty. I expect pushups, they give me paper. I expect weight, they give me a pillow. I expect a fight and they hand me a piece of plastic before wrapping me in sixteen feet of styrofoam. Now, the question is currently as simple as this: why? I've come to a very simple conclusion, ladies and gents. The funny piece of the world that wanted a piece of me is now scared of me. I have become something it actually, literally fears. Now, given, this is not quite in the same manner that hippies are scared of tanks, nor in the same way bunny rabbits are scared of me. No, not even close. In fact, to put things more accurately, this is more in the manner of the rabbits being scared of me while I'm holding the magazine of a weapon. Why would they be scared when I'm holding just the magazine, you ask? Well, it's quite simple--if I'm holding magazine, where's the weapon? And if I'm not holding the weapon, who, or WHAT, is?! I mean, I could have turned it over to the kids at Letourneau and told them, "Make a robot that uses this thingly and can load a magazine into it, target yon rabbited fiend, and pull yon trigger." Can you even imagine that level of fear? Because that's how scared I think the universe is. That's right, I invoked Murphey's law. What? What? That's right, you won't do anything.